The Power of Surrender.

The next 'S' word in this series of spiritual practises is 'Surrender.'
Often a hugely loaded word with visions of white flags flying and failure. Thoughts of Winston Churchill's speech of never surrendering with even Dido singing 'I will go down with this ship. And I won't put my hands up and surrender.' Indeed, one dictionary definition drips with the negative connotations associated with surrender, defined as:
'to stop resisting an opponent and submit to their authority.'
. Let's face it- British people are hard as old boots and after 2 world wars of the 'we-will-never-surrender' attitude (Amen!) it's not surprising that society has come to loathe the word  and concept of surrender.
 Furthermore, 'surrender' can be backhandedly used for oppression, suppression and belittling, of course I mean here my favourite topic of women's rights, with the word surrender being wrongly thrown into women's faces as the appropriate way to act, ie becoming a cleaning, cooking, baby making machine. Of course in a loving relationship you care more about the other's well being then yours so any idea of oppression however manipulative or subtle is not love, but that will no doubt be discussed in a separate blogpost.
Though 'surrender' has been lumped with these negative connotations, I would argue that surrender is not always a negative quality, that sometimes the strongest, most mature and indeed necessary thing to do is to hold up your hands and surrender.

So why should we embrace this idea of surrender in such a dog-eat-dog world?
*Because we cannot control everything.
I wish we could control this hurting world: but we can't. Do I despair of that or surrender myself to the fact that God has this world in his arms?

*Because Jesus did it
Jesus said, from the Lord's prayer: 'your will be done' and had many temptations and opportunities in his 3 year ministry to try things out his own way. When Lazarus was dying, the temptation to go to him would've been unbearable, but instead Jesus surrendered to God's will and Lazarus was raised from the dead- not bad!

*So that we don't have to worry.
Matthew 11 v 28 says: 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.'
To come to Jesus and throw your hands in the air and say 'you've got it, I don't.'  By relinquishing control to an almighty God who has the world in the palm of your hand. That's when worry starts to evaporate and burdened hearts are lifted. I know I regularly struggle with the concept of not worrying but it is something I am w
orking on!!

So how can we do this surrendering malarky on a day to day basis?
Well I have come up with 3 aspects I have learnt and are still learning that I need to surrender to a greater power, namely God, on a daily basis.

* Give up on doing it alone
Today's society is obsessed with pushing yourself forward. In reality programmes like 'America's Next Top Model' it's all about being the best and stepping on anyone who gets in your way. But as humans we are made for relationships. Being in any kind of relationship whether friendship, marriage or a relationship with a relative requires vulnerability and surrender. If we are vulnerable and surrender to our worldly relationships surely we are also called to surrender in our heavenly relationship with God.
Even Jesus checked everything out with God, relying on him acutely.
In John 5:19 Jesus says:
'Truly, truly I say to you, the son can do nothing of his own accord but only what he sees the Father doing.'
Can we honestly say that on a daily basis we surrender each of daily choices to God? Are we in constant prayer and communion with him?
Often when I am making a decision I talk to my Mum about it, then Gaz my boyfriend, then my Dad, then
my friends, then my acquaintances and THEN God. By surrendering to God in a relational way and being vulnerable, our relationship can really improve.

*Give up on perfection.
How many times have you heard people say: 'I'm such a perfectionist!' 'It all has to be perfect!'
What an impossible level to try and reach!! One of the year threes in my class recently said to me: 'Miss Ross everyone makes mistakes and that's ok!' This seemingly random interjection really took me by surprise but by the looks of his face it seems like this was a brand new revelation to him!
The bible says that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3 v 23.) Jesus said even if you think about sinning it's like you've sinned- we don't stand a chance! So sorry to break it to you folks but you can't be a perfectionist... as you can't achieve perfection!
Does this mean we should all sulk in our room and beat ourselves up about being sinners? No! The only way you can be washed as white as snow is surrendering to God's grace, accepting that by our own strength we don't amount to much and realising that his sacrifice on the cross was more than sufficient. Keep trying to strive for perfection ourselves will get us nowhere. Accepting and surrendering that through God's grace that it is ok if we fail will help us all progress as individuals.


* Lastly, give up on your five year plan.
I have always, always had a five year plan, looking at where I want to be in the not-to-distant future. When I was 14/15 my five year plan was to be married by the age of 18 and have my first child by 21. I am now 21.... no husband and DEFINITELY no children. Then I had plans to be Paolo Nutini's trumpet player.... and that didn't happen. I had plans to be a gospel singer, ethnomusicologist, housewife.. you name it! None of these plans are yet to become a reality and whereas I could look to the sky and ask God 'why?!' I can instead realise that these are not my plans for my life.
In Jeremiah 29 v11 it says:
For I know the plans I have for YOU declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. To give you hope and a future.'
God has awesome plans for everyone, and when we step back and surrender our plans to him, asking him what he has for our lives that is when we can step into fullness of life. I am currently living in a state of uncertainty, unsure of where God wants me and Gaz to be. Where I could throw a strop for things not going my way, instead I choose to daily surrender my plans to God as I know he has much bigger and better plans. It is when you surrender control that life stops becoming worrying and starts becoming exciting.

I hope this blogpost has made you re-evaluate the concept of surrender, it was definitely a difficult one to write! Embrace it folks.
Peace out <3

Daily Spiritual Habits :)

I have just got back from 'Youthwork Conference 2013,' a weekend of training for youth workers all across the United Kingdom, set in sunny Eastbourne (yes youth doesn't exactly come to mind when I think of Eastbourne either!) My next few blogposts will no doubt be heavily influenced by what I learnt over the weekend and one thing which was discussed in a seminar I went to, was the view of daily spiritual routines- elements to help you connect with God on a daily basis. In the seminar these were described at 'The Three Ss.' These three elements are - Simplicity -Surrender and -Solitude. In this Blogpost I will discuss what is meant by simplicity and how it can have a positive impact on our personal and spiritual lives.

Simplicity

Defined as the state or quality of being simple and can be used to imply beauty, purity or clarity. According to St Thomas Aquinas God is 'infinitely simple' and the Franciscan order of the Roman Catholics and Anglicans strive after simplicity in all areas, following the example of St Francis

So what does simplicity look like in a person?
I cannot think of an individual who represents this quality of simple spirit more than Mother Teresa. An individual who left home at 18 to become a nun, who often had to beg and go without food, shoes and shelter in order to serve those people in Calcutta that were at the very bottom of the heap pile. She gave up everything, thrusting herself into extreme poverty. She is also arguably the best example of Jesus there has ever been, apart from Jesus himself of course!

The life of a monk or nun has never appealed to me. Living in a secluded area, with no personal possessions and/or personal identity seems to me, an extroverted people person, like a complete nightmare. Though I think the life they lead is very admirable I've always thought, absolutely not my cup of tea! Whilst this remains true, perhaps these men and women who simplify their lives down to the barest essentials and live in communion with God and to serve others have something that can be passed onto all of our lives. We live in a period of history which just LOVES material possessions! How much 'stuff' do we own? I know personally I am a huge fan of clutter, and having posters and nicknacks all around my room makes me feel cozy and safe in my room. But if I think about that for a second...how ridiculous is that?! Do we have a tendency to place our emotions/self-worth/moods/feelings on our material possessions instead of trusting in God?
Does this also transfer into a less practical means but also our spiritual lives? What junk needs to be cleared out and does anything need to be simplified?

As it says in Matthews 18:4 when Jesus discovered the
 'Anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.'
What elements of simplicity does a child have which we as autonomous adults might be able to adopt into our daily lives?
-Being Thankful. 

In my opinion, children are always very appreciative and often the smallest present is like THE coolest thing in the world. I know often I begin to take for granted everything that is given to me by God. 
Yes, an individual prayer of mine hasn't been answered yet BUT do I thank God on a daily basis for the air I breathe or for my family or that I am healthy and happy?
In Psalm 92:2 it says: 'Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song,' but do we earnestly do that on a daily basis? Or does prayer tend to become a wishlist of what we would like to happen next? 

- A clear sense of purpose. 
Children are very goal focused. Teaching the trumpet has taught me this. If my pupils have a grade or a concert to aim towards their practise and commitment to the trumpet sky rockets. If they have no immediate reason to commit, they will often avoid the trumpet or go off and watch The Simpsons instead. 

Do we also have this ability to forget our purpose?
In Philippians 3:14 it  says: 
'I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.'

Do we always remember we need to keep running and not stop? Or do we sometimes see an interesting shop on the way and go and have a look? 

I know recently I have decided on clear manageable focuses in my relationship with God. Maybe I want to improve my knowledge of the Psalms or I want to pray for a situation until something changes. Either way,a clear purpose to my daily walk is so important.

-The need to be focused.
Now, I volunteer for a local primary school year 3 class and I know that in order for any of the children to do a good amount of work they NEED to be focused, much like with our walk

of faith. However, like adults these children will often find a few distractions to be able to focus on instead of their work. One of the children in chatting about seeing 'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2' or one child is kicking their chair, whatever it is vying for their attention, if they do not focus work slowly slips down on their agenda. 
Do we also have the ability to be distracted in our daily lives?
What vyes for our attention?
It says in Psalm 121, 
'I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from you maker of heaven, creator of the earth.'
Are our eyes fixed on the mountains or do they look around us and get distracted by what's going on around us?

I have found when I have started each day with a small prayer asking God to help me focus on him through the day this has kept me focused on his plan and purposes for my day and life. 

Hopefully this has helped you explore the aspect of simplicity and given you a few practical ideas to keep your focus on God and not on what's around us. I know I am the worst for being distracted by what's around me and I continue to try and zone in and listen to the divine not the world.
Peace out. :) <3 

What Happens When You are Flung Out of Your Comfort Zone..

This is taken from a talk I did about my time in China at a International China Concern information evening last week :)

In April 2012, my boyfriend Gaz and I stepped out of the airport and into Hongkong to start our new adventure with ICC. We were both very anxious  as we had never done anything like it before and I remember telling the team of all ages,from me being the youngest at 19 to Christine who was 67 that I was very scared about the prospect of having a human being solely dependent on me. I also told Gaz that I was particularly worried about having a heavy, large child who I couldn’t lift or one who was unresponsive, so we prayed that night that we would both receive the child that God had in mind for us and that he would help us to be able to know what to do. On the first day in the welfare centre, I was handed an absolutely beautiful, small girl called Junjun who loved nothing more than being cuddled and being sung

too. All the team commented on a special bond that we appeared to have from the beginning and the whole experience of looking after her was a complete joy. My favourite memory is one day when we went outside. We had a lovely time feeling the grass, going for walks in the fresh air and even meeting a local pet dog- all very new and exciting. Suddenly, it started to rain and I mean torrential downpour. So I quickly bundled her in the buggy and started to run back inside whilst we both were getting soaked! As I was running along I could hear screaming from Junjun so I stopped to reassure her but as I looked I could see she was squealing and laughing her head off at this brand new sensation of wind and rain, a very special moment.

So how was I impacted by my trip to China?

When we arrived in the Welfare Centre there was a big sign on the wall declaring, ‘we have potential too.’ Getting to know a disabled child on such a personal level really opened my eyes to how cherished they are by God and how we cannot say what potential they have. This really made me cherish the sanctity of life and the fact that God looks after and values each abandoned child, though the state may have given up on the them. When Gaz and I left the welfare centre for the last time, I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace, that Junjun was in the best of hands and that God had got her. This made me evaluate that I should treat every individual I meet on the daily basis with the same idea in mind, that God values them all and so should I regardless of status or disability.

 It is amazing that I have heard about abandoned children in China for many years but it wasn’t until I got to know one individual abandoned and disabled child that I realised what this means. Each child abandoned has a personality, likes and dislikes and most importantly is cherished and loved by a saviour who gave his life for each one of them. If Jesus were in China today, I have no doubt he would be cuddling and spending time with these children which society has apparently given up on. As Jesus is no longer physically on the earth, I was heavily challenged about the fact that God needs us, it falls to these broken clay jars, you and me to be his hands and feet in this world. Gaz and I are hoping once we finish training and when we are specifically called by God, that we can go out to China for a longer period of time and try

Even 18 months later, my background on my computer is a photo of me and Junjun, to help me remember that all are cherished and loved by Jesus but also to challenge me to strive to practically show this love to those who many need it. So I would encourage you, if you are thinking about going to China- just go for it and embrace the transformation! If you aren’t thinking about going to China, start thinking about it!

Here is the website of the charity I went with International China Concern who do amazing, continued work with abandoned, disabled Children in central, urban China.

 http://www.chinaconcern.org/

Neither Male or Female for we are all One in Christ

“Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you're worthy of the trip.” 

(Glenn Beck)

This Youtube clip is currently the newest video to go viral with many of my friends on Facebook sharing it around. The video deals with the idea of female self worth including a man telling all women who watch that they are cherished and smart. It is of course a great video and obviously will speak truth and light to many situations but I have to ask myself this question.

How did it get to the point that cheesy, wonderfully American videos have become the form of self-worth for women across the globe? Is this honestly helping the problem?

I am not a negative individual and I am the last person to discourage anyone- but there are aspects of this video which I not only disagree with but which really annoy me! Whilst the sentiments this gentlemen shares are obviously from the heart and are the truth- he is essentially a good looking guy telling women their great qualities starting with 'you are beautiful' (why women's best qualities seem to always be seen as their outward appearence baffles me) I know from experience that whilst growing up, I would often gain my self worth from being loved and cherished by boys, thriving on any compliment or positive thing they said about me. Whilst encouragement is SO important, encouragement from human sources should not replace the self worth you can gain in Jesus and filling that hole with human entities is going to end in disaster. I certainly worry that the fact this is a good looking guy telling women they are cherished is treading on thin ice. Why not a female? Why not an older gentlemen who could play the role as a grandfather or father figure? Why an aesthetically pleasing young and attractive male whom many young girls watching these videos would want to gain approval from? You should not look to others to build your confidence but look inside you to see the treasure within.

But that is enough of moaning! I believe that simply the nature of the person of Jesus and many aspects of the bible are sufficient for all women to gain complete self-worth!
Many people would argue that the bible, Christianity and subsequently Jesus are degrading of women. At face value, women do seem misrepresented in the bible, with the 12 disciples being male and Paul saying some interesting comments about women in the church (Many of which I and many others would argue is due to specific churches and not as the 'church' as a whole but unfortunately that is a completely different rabbit hole to go down and would take far too much time to debate on this blog post- watch this space if it interests you!!) However, I would argue that if you read into the nature of Jesus, you can see an individual who deeply cared for and cherished women as a gender.

This is a separate post from one about feminism, which I am incredibly passionate about, but more emphasis on female self worth. Whenever I feel particularly down trodden simply due to my gender I go back to my namesake, 'Lydia' seller of purple cloth which was one of the first leaders of a the early church and she was....dun dun duuuunnnn... FEMALE. Or the pure epicness that is Deborah in the bible who heard directly from God and lead the most awesome battle against some pretty nasty people leading the entire of Israel to victory boldly proclaiming,' ' By the glory of God Sisera (nasty man) will fall at the hands of a woman!' Or Esther who saved the entire Jewish race through bravery or Rahab, a prostitute who helped Hebrew spies and thus became part of the lineage of Jesus.

The fact that some women were Jesus' most loyal followers and never deserted him when his disciples, being the last to leave him whilst he was dying on the cross. A group of women were also the first individual's Jesus revealed himself to after his resurrection, with Mary Magdalene having an incredibly touching and personal encounter. The woman at the well was the first individual Jesus revealed himself as the Messiah to and Jesus would take a lot of time to teach women such as Mary (Martha's sister) and later Martha on a personal level, which in the day in the times Jewish men would daily pray, 'Thank You God I am not a gentile, not a slave and not a woman,' is incredibly powerful.

Jesus used stories about women to explain theological concepts such as the woman with the lost coin and even describes himself like a mother hen wanting to gather together her chicks. In general, women  have a very special place in the bible and are treasured by God by the fact they are used and pinnacle to the plan of Jesus. But most exciting of all is that most women in the bible are treasured for their bravery, intellect, confidence NOT just outward appearences which so annoys me about self worth videos like this today.
Fundamentally, Jesus, the perfect son of God, died on the cross for all women across the globe and that is something to grab hold of and treasure.

I will no doubt come to this topic again and again as I believe it is so important, but in regards to this video- ladies- look within yourself, at the person of Jesus and in the bible and that is where your self worth inhabits NOT random American boys telling you are beautiful!

Peace out :) <3

Coaching- Not Just Travelling By a Big Bus...

'The world exists not merely in itself, but also as it appears to me.' C.G.Jung

Recently, as many of you know, I have started training with a coaching program for young people called 'Connect,' where I am being trained up to begin working as a Christian based coach. The training is absolutely fascinating and has taught me real awareness of other people's personality traits and qualities. 

As it says in Corinithians 12 v 4-6:

'There are different kinds of gifts, but the same spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.' 

There are some whose gifting is being good with people, like me and there are those who have quieter giftings which are logical and reliable, but all come from the same God and should be valued as thus. :) The uniqueness of everyone in the world and their personalities is so apparent when there are fallings out and arguments, but is it necessarily celebrated? Well it should start to be!

The biggest problem that I have found as a coach is not giving advice. I am often the person many of my friends turn to when they want advice. This is probably because I have a lot of 'Red' quality with being a quick decision making and incredibly purpose lead. As the picture shows, I often butt my nose is straight away and think I can help everyone! 

However,coaching is not like that at all. Coaching is unlocking an individual's potential by helping them distill fear and lack of self-worth. I can certainly tell you that if I am having a bad day and I am feeling pants about myself, Gaz can tell me his glittering opinion of me (what a lovely boyfriend) until the cows come home. My brain will dismiss each word of encouragement he gives me: 'Oh he loves me he has to say that,' 'He's trying to encourage me so he's going to say whatever he thinks I want to hear' and so on and so forth.  Encouraging people on their strengths and good qualities is so worthwhile but often we have to believe these encouragements ourselves in order for the to make a good impact. We need to come to conclusion ourselves. 

In coaching, the aim is to ask open questions to allow room for the individual to talk about their issue but also steer the 'Coachee' through their different options and to hopefully formulate a plan. When I have been practicing, the most important factor for the coachee has been someone to listen to them. But coming from a christian perspective, I know what has given me the best self worth I could get. 

One of my most favourite verses in the entire bible, deals with this idea. 

Psalm 139v13-16 says:

'For you created my inmost being;

you knitted me together in my other's womb.

I praise you because I a fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.'

According to this verse, my days are ordained and I am created and known by a perfect creator. If you look at yourself and everyone around you with those same statements in mind, it can change your outlook. I am not an accident, a bundle of cells clumped together, but a planned and purpose-filled individual.How I look is not an accident, my personality is not a accident but a most treasured and thought through, logical plan.  

When this finally becomes apparent and hits home and you accept that you, just the way you were created and designed, have extreme value and worth like a precious jewel, you will feel like you've just won the After Eight game- as seen below. And I can tell you- that is a pretty awesome feeling. Peace out. x

14 
1
  Whe

Success

Success....

What does success mean?

This random picture I found on the internet has really challenged me in so many ways as to what I expect success to mean and what I expect other people to strive to also. Many of you may know that at some point I was desperate to become a professional trumpet player. I played hours upon hours a day and did everything possible to try and make it happen. But- it wasn't meant to be. Many people said 'Oh if only you'd started seriously practising from the age of 12!' or 'if only you'd been at private school' and many other perfectly useless phrases such as the above but I did the best with the hand I was dealt and as I said before it just wasn't meant to be. At the time I was very angry with God and felt that verses in the bible such as 'I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,' simply didn't apply to me. Now, 4 years later and a lot more mature (I know hard to believe isn't it!) I know for many reasons why the idea of becoming a trumpet player wasn't the best for me. That many other gifts I have such as people/children skills and creativity are so much better served in other places and I'm nor pursuing the dream of becoming a primary school teacher.  

So according to the world- I have failed. I am not a successful person. But according to God I am successfully becoming the person he planned for me to be all along!
In Jeremiah 29v11 it says:
'For I know the plans for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'

So if you feel like a failure or you feel like in the world's eyes you are not successful- step into the plan and purpose God has before you. This isn't a call for people to stop striving and trying hard in exams or work or anything else. Hard work is important but it says in the bible that

'God gives you the desires of your heart'

But maybe you don't know the desires of your heart yourself! I know I didn't!
Alternatively you don't know God's plans for other people and they are without a doubt completely different to what we expect!!
Peace out. <3

A New Blog... A New Year...

I'm Lydia Ross, commonly called Grace-Ross by many of my friends because of a string of in jokes involving a mix up with hoody names. I am a recent music graduate of Royal Holloway University of London and am embarking on a wonderful year out back in my home county of Wiltshire before I hope to go onto train to be a primary school teacher. I love all things crafty and am blessed with a wonderful creative streak which tends to seep through to everything I do :)

So.. why write a blog?

The reason I have started a blog is for the following main reason:

There is such utter rubbish on the internet. You can't go two seconds without a Justin Bieber scandal, a huge amount of first world problems eg. 'I can't stand it when my phone charger doesn't stretch to my bed,' or some form of nudity flashes up brightly straight in anyone who's unlucky enough to be observing, which nowadays is just about anyone. Infiltration of the inappropriate straight into our front rooms. What the internet needs is truth and the best place to gain truth is straight from the bible. \The aim of this blog is to present thoughts and advice to anyone on the internet read straight from the bible and from other Christian resources. In an era where everyone is looking for reassurance and answers to life's big questions, where the 'church' seems to have possibly failed, I am hoping to present some ideas as to how and why the bible and Jesus can help people where they are. As a personal relationship or even just philosophical ideas and advice. 

I look forward to sharing my journey with you :)

Peace out <3